


soft shit

by cupidsintern



Series: also on tumblr! [12]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, the title says it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupidsintern/pseuds/cupidsintern
Summary: “So,” Steve says, his voice muted at the edges. Billy looks over at him- he looks pretty baked. Smoke curls towards the ceiling.“What did you want to talk about?” Steve smiles a little. He’s doing that thing where he doesn't use contractions- like it’ll make him more intelligible.“What’d you mean?” Billy half mumbles, making no such effort.“Usually, when you come over and tell me to get you high, it means you want to talk about something.” Steve sets the bong down on his bedside table. Ever careful.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: also on tumblr! [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725826
Comments: 8
Kudos: 122





	soft shit

Billy’s arms feel really heavy. Not in a bad way, they just do. 

He likes how Steve’s knuckles look when he tilts his lighter- he just packed another bowl.

He likes how Steve’s sheets are always clean when he comes over. Even smell like fabric softener. Does Steve actually change his bedsheets everyday? Or does he plan ahead like an actual sweetheart- if it's the second one Billy thinks he might die.

“So,” Steve says, his voice muted at the edges. Billy looks over at him- he looks pretty baked. Smoke curls towards the ceiling. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Steve smiles a little. He’s doing that thing where he doesn't use contractions- like it’ll make him more intelligible. 

“What’d you mean?” Billy half mumbles, making no such effort. 

“Usually, when you come over and tell me to get you high, it means you want to talk about something.” Steve sets the bong down on his bedside table. Ever careful. 

“Sounds dramatic.”

“Right, not like you're  _ ever  _ dramatic.” Steve slides down against his headboard, pulls a pillow into his lap. He looks so cozy in pajamas. Pajamas consisting of those soft plaid pants you get at department stores and a shirt that Billy had just returned after stealing for maybe a month.

Steve’s hand finds its way to Billy’s head, pushes his curls around a little. Billy leans into the touch, which he might not normally. And he hums a little, like he likes it, which he does. 

It's just that he doesn't feel like he’s allowed to do stuff like this- soft shit- with Steve. Unless he has an excuse. Like being high. 

So what does he want to talk about? He knows Steve wont ever  _ make _ him talk. Just likes it when he does. Sappy. 

_ “Jesus, Billy it’s not ‘sappy.’ It’s normal.” _

He said that in the car one time. After Billy snapped at him for asking if he was ok.

Maybe now would be a good time to  _ say the thing _ he’s been putting off saying. Steve already said it- drunk as shit, couldnt even stand up right-  _ “I’m so fucking in love with you” _ \- and then next day told Billy under no circumstances did he have to say it back he could just pretend he never heard it if he wanted, no hard feelings _ this doesnt change anything _ . But Steve didnt say he didn't mean it ever. Cause he meant it. 

Billy would close his eyes, feel his heart rate skyrocket, feel his teeth touch and his tongue go heavy and he wanted to sometimes- but he couldn't say it back. 

Even if he would mean it. 

So he could say the _other_ thing. The thing that’s obvious. But also not. Because it took him ages to figure out in words and even longer to string the words together and look at them as two ideas that somehow were not in conflict. Him and _the other thing._ And he’s known for a while now, maybe forever, but he was sort of hoping it was the one thing and not _the_ _other_ _thing_ but he should probably just say it-

“Steve?” Billy opens his eyes. 

“Yeah?” Steve takes his hand back, sits up a little more. 

Billy stares at him for a second, doesn’t move from where he’s sitting back against the headboard. “I’m gay.”

Steve blinks. He tilts his head, narrows his eyes. “...Right.”

“I never said it out loud before, dipshit.” Billy gets defensive before even thinking about it. 

“Oh,” Steve’s ability to process words picks up. “ _ Oh  _ wait, ok. Ok, yeah. That's very, uh. Very cool. Good for you. I kinda, um, knew that? From the, you know,  _ stuff _ that we do. But um. Yeah. Good.” Lord help him Steve looks so flushed, toasted and desperately trying to be supportive. 

Billy does love him, especially right now, even if he still can’t say it.

“Congratulations.” Steve says after a pause. 

Billy moves to shove him off the bed, foot against Steve's stomach. 

“Hey! Hey, woah I’m- I’m trying to be nice.” Steve grabs for Billy’s leg to steady himself

Billy tries not to smile. “You’re such a dumbass.”

“It’s cool that you said it out loud! I’m... proud of you. Is that good?”

_ Proud of you. _

Billy stops trying to push Steve off. Doesn’t move his leg from where it is though. Likes Steve touching him. “Yeah... thanks.”

“Yeah.” Steve studies him a little. “Is that, like, what you wanted to talk about?”

“Pretty much.”

Steve nods a couple times. “Did you just figure it out?”

“I mean. No, but…”

“We don’t have to talk about it.”   
Billy sighs. “I was sort of hoping I was… bi or something. Like you are. And how can you just say you are and know like how do you even know?”

Steve looks like he’s trying his hardest to sober up for this. “I dunno. I guess I just, do?”

“Very helpful.”

“Shit,” Steve laughs a little. “I wish I was saying this better. But i don't know how I know. I just do. Like um… Like it feels right. Like when i first kissed a girl, it felt really, like,  _ correct _ ? And it felt like that with you too, so I just sort of feel like I  _ know _ .”

Billy’s insides always twist up when Steve talks about them like  _ we _ and  _ us _ and  _ with you _ .

And he knows the feeling, the  _ this is right _ feeling. Familiar and new at the same time. He had never ever felt like that with any girl. And probably never would. And hated that, because now he had a snowball's chance in hell of ever being normal. But it’s not like Steve would ever feel normal either. 

But if Billy does  _ know _ he’s gay, then he knows. He likes the  _ right  _ feeling.

“Makes sense.” Is all Billy says.

He lets Steve play with his hair again.


End file.
